You always agree to do to anything and everything that is asked to you? Do you move out of your comfort zone to make others happy? You try not to offend anyone even at the cost of your happiness? If your answer to all these questions is a big YES then apparently you are a people pleaser.
Well, there is no harm in being a people pleasure but the main problem is that in order to make everyone else happy you end up killing your happiness. You might have also encountered such situations where you are forced to do night shifts or extra project work for others. And if we look closely into this matter, it will affect your mental and physical health both. So, it’s high time you set boundaries and save yourself from a sort of exploitation.
Realize What You Are Doing
The very first thing you need to do is to introspect. Think about what you are doing and for whom? Is it really worth it? Or in order to keep everyone happy, you are just letting yourself fall apart? By saying NO you are not being selfish. There is always a boundary and after that people start taking you for granted. Even if you are a mother, stop being a people pleaser and forbid yourself from overdoing things for your kids and spouse. By helping them everywhere you are just heading towards an unhealthy relationship which is sided and demanding.
Set Up Your Priorities
Everyone cannot be your favourite, right? So you need to prioritise people in your life. There are many who actually care about you whether others are just using you for their work. Your work is to recognize those who are taking your advantage. This way you will end up saving a lot of time and efforts on people who actually don’t deserve it. Along with being a people pleaser, just set things up.
Be straight forward with your answer, even if it’s a no. Vague reactions often create uncertainty between you bond other people, ultimately running your relationship. So just say you cannot do their work or fulfil their demands directly in their face. It may make them feel awkward few times but later they’ll get used to you. Create a clear boundary of what is acceptable for you and what isn’t and also it is our work to make others aware of it. They might be annoyed for some time, but definitely, they will respect your opinion.
Do What Makes You Happy
Make yourself aware of what makes you happy and what does not. Just because you don’t want to hurt the other person involved, dragging a toxic relationship is just not fair. Nothing is more important than your healthy mind and body. So remove anything and everything which is noxious in your life. So, next time say NO to your colleague when he/she tries to put their work on your head, or when your classmate wants you to do his/her homework.
Lastly, if you can’t get over that ‘people pleaser’ attitude and still wish to help people then just offer them an alternative. Either s